Episode 3 Recap: Mud Slinging & Mud Wrestling

Firstly, I'd like to give some props to my cohorts & co-hosts, for a great start to the site/blog and some great reading material thus far. I'd also like to greatly thank you for leaving me this particular episode to recap. A full show dedicated to Parvahotti mixed in with some women on women mud wrestling. You shouldn't have, I didn't get you anything...

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 3: “That Girl is Like a Virus” The CBS Official title of episode 3. Yes She Is. I've got the fever. And the only cure, is more Parvati. But more on that later.


Stephenie has just been voted out. Heroes are down 2 tribe members. Alliance lines how now been clearly drawn. Turns out JT is not with Tom after all, but in keeping with his new found willingness to beg, borrow, and steal this season, he tries to make peace with him and it seems to have succeeded for now. James, who at this point of the show has settled down and reverted back into Bruce Banner form, utters his now famous catch phrase "I JYNSP XUNNO WYNN" which of course CBS close captions for us "I Just Want To Win!" - Hey James, stop chewing on marbles you giant freak.

Over at the Villains tribe we catch Parv and Russell snuggling up with each other in bed, giggling like 10 years olds at a sleepover, and not only annoying the rest of the tribe, but raising huge ass red alliance flares. Boston Rob, who has been awesome this year with his Penn & Teller routine of explaining; How to Play Survivor 101, details to the home audience how you can tell who's with who by how they sleep at night. And with Amber at home, Rob right now isn't snuggled up to anyone and he's concerned. He should be more concerned about Russell hiding his Red Sox hat next to the Machete he's buried in the forest. Oh Russell, you crazy cat.

Back to the Heroes tribe, it's a bright, beautiful new day outside, which is not what Rupert was hoping for. Beardo was hoping it would piss rain so the tribe could make a pillow fort, and play truth or dare and spin the bottle, get to know each other a little better and bond as a tribe. Something they've yet to do. If only there was another way... Wait a second the chickens have escaped JT's shitty ass chicken coup and it's up to the tribe to unify and as a cohesive unit and round up the chickens, bond as a tribe - can they do it? Can they change their fortune in this game by re-catching a pre-caught flightless bird? YES! THEY DID IT! Of course Tom catches em, shocker. Tom could catch the Mantracker in 6 minutes with a 5 minute head start. Rupert is happy they bonded after all, although likely pissed they didn't get to play spin the bottle, he'll have to wait longer for that elusive first kiss.

Over at the Villains tribe there is a lot of drama going on. Boston Rob and Russell are debating which one should be the official tribe "DADDY" and Coach, Jerri, Randy all see Parv as a huge threat, and while detailing exactly why she's a threat, and why's she's gonna be the death of their tribe, nobody seems willing to do anything about it. But this is all boring, let's get to the women in skimpy swimsuits mud wrestling!!!

*** Mud Wrestling Highlights from AOL Video Online CLICK ME! ***

Let's be honest. This Immunity challenge was strictly designed to let the Heroes win an Immunity challenge to even things up a bit. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you remove the "puzzle" element of the challenge, the Heroes will win. And that's exactly what happened with this challenge - an 8-0 trouncing of Hero on Villain violence and flat out pent-up aggression and redemption. And it was awesome!

Round 1 - Tom vs Russell - The epitome of Good vs Evil, but Russell tanked, and Tom simply dominated. 1-0 Heroes

Round 2 - Candice vs Parv - Perhaps the best battle of the competition, and not for the reasons you're thinking, although those reasons were pretty damn good too. Candice finally gets Parv into the mud, and wins 2-0 Heroes. Anyone else's version of this battle have them kissing at the end?

Round 3 - Coach vs Rupert - This was actually very entertaining. Coach wins by cheating, then celebrates all the way through Jeff's entire "Hey you cheated it doesn't count speech" so they replay the challenge, Rupert wins, Coach flips off Probst and we're watching the Heroes run away with this 3-0

Round 4 - Jerri vs Cerie - bwahahahahahhahahha it ends exactly how you think it would. As quick as you think it would. 4-0 Heroes

Round 5 - Tyson vs JT - a pretty damn good battle, but JT is victorious. And oddly, similar to the Candice / Parv battle, these dudes kiss at the end too. For real this time. WTF? Tyson's got some manlove for Joe Dirt I guess. 5-0 Heroes

Round 6 - Amanda vs Danielle - another shocking result... not so much. Amanda's a big bitch, and flat out ragdolls Danielle, but there's some good muddy wrestling action before the forgone conclusion. Niiiiiice. 6-0

Round 7 - Really? Round 7? It's 6-0. Throw in the towel. Is there no Mercy rule? There may have been a Mercy rule, but it's Colby vs Boston Rob, and we all want to see this battle. Bobby does a serious head plant, but puts up a great fight. One of the best battles, but it's not enough, 7-0

Round 8... Oh shit. It's the Incredible Hulk vs Randy. Okay New Rule. If Randy beats James, at this challenge, trailing 7-0, the Villains win the challenge. In Randy's defence he didn't scream and just jump into the mud, but he may as well have. 8-0 The Heroes win. Thank god they didn't have to complete a game of concentration before the buzzer goes at the end of this challenge.

On another channel, during this commercial break the Canadian Women have just won Hockey Gold 2-0! Way to go. Wouldn't it be funny if they cracked cans of beer and started smoking Cigars on the ice to celebrate....

The fallout back at the Villains camp and tribal breaks down like this:

Everyone knows Parv is the biggest threat, but the votes may not be there
Everyone knows Randy just sucks ass, and the less men they have, the more men the Heroes have to sit in challenges (wow nice strategy)
Jerri is totally jealous of Parv's control over the men at camp
Parv calls Jerri a bitter old cougar (HA! Burn)
Coach gives an epic version of the Martin Luther King "I had a Dream Speech"... classic Coach
Tribal Council is boring other than a reminder to the home audience that if you find yourself on Survivor, keep your mouth shut while at Tribal Council.

... And now to read the votes... It's unanimous for Randy, throw your buff in the fire, storm off and never return. Parvati doesn't even receive one vote. I'm stunned. The Snake Women lives. The virus is spreading...

Pool Update Week 3

And that is why nobody picked Randy. Although lets be honest, I think this slimmer, trimmer, nicer Randy would have had a good chance in a regular season, but he's outmatched in this Hollywood version. Nice Try Randy.

Also for the questions portion of the Pool, SHOCKER, Russell did sabotage his own camp. Most people got that right. The Villains failed to win 3 challenges in a row, so we're back to Heroes +1.

As for the spreadhseet, I won't be able to update it until Monday (to post it that is) however I've accumulated both spreadsheets (Section 1 and Section 2) into one point total, and have the current TOTAL point standings. I've posted that as a jpg below. Click the picture for a bigger image. 35 points leads the way and of course we're early anything can happen still. The spreadsheet once posted will explain how you have that total.

Good Luck,
G

Episode 2 Recap: Fear the Reaper

OK, so last night’s episode of Survivor was unfortunately one of the most boring and uneventful episodes I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot. In fact, I don’t think I’d need all of the fingers on one hand to count the number of episodes I’ve missed in 20 seasons. So be forewarned: this week’s recap might be a little cynical and snarky even more cynical and snarky than it normally is.

“Last time on Survivor!” It’s a pretty strong sign that you’re in for a mediocre episode when they spend even more time than normal doing an overly thorough recap of last week’s episode. Maybe they’re just trying to get new viewers up to speed, but I’ve got a sneaky suspicion that Mark Burnett would rather just air last week’s episode over again. Sure, I get the benefit of writing this after having watched the full episode – I’m not going to pretend that I’m writing this real time – so I already know that this episode shit the bed. But way back at the beginning, I had a feeling something was off...

On to some new footage (finally) and the monsoon rains have begun. It’s only night 3 and the Villains are suffering already – shocking, since they seem like such positive people. Coach and Jerri point out that THIS is the real test of Survivor: the mental test, the ability to remain positive when you’re deprived of food and water and shelter. Hmmm, this feels like a little foreshadowing. Or maybe that tingly feeling is déjà vu, since they’ve been pointing out the same damn thing on Survivor since Richard and Rudy were spooning to keep warm on Season 1.

Or maybe the torrential downpour was really Boston Rob’s tears. Rob is pissed that Villains still aren’t pulling their shit together, and he seems to be the only one willing to do the heavy lifting necessary to get the camp ship-shape. Normally I’d be screaming at the TV during such rants, something like “Suck it up whiner boy!” but Rob seems to have a point. Haven’t these people all played this game before? Isn’t this the 3rd tour of duty for some of them? But alas, here they are tearing down the shelter to start from scratch, for what Randy insists is the 4th or 5th redesign. And is it me or is Randy starting to look more and more like Gary Busey every episode? We can only hope he starts going crazy like Gary Busey soon – that could spice things up a little bit.

Meanwhile it’s all sunshine and rainbows at Hero Beach! And in case you forgot just how awesome these people are, Mark Burnett has taken to playing superhero theme music whenever we see them. Life is good: the shelter is built, the wild chickens are plentiful, the fire is delightful, and the Heroes are keeping busy by building a small subdivision for the local indigenous population. Or maybe all this busy work is to keep their minds off the demoralizing loss they suffered in week one. Under the positive facade, it seems Hero Beach might not be Happy Beach, and the survivors are already looking for who to blame – or more accurately who they can shift the target to. Stephenie’s got her eyes on Rupert, saying she sees through his nice-guy facade. Yes, self preservation mode is in full effect for the Heroes...

But if unhappiness is bubbling just under the surface for the Heroes, it’s like a pot of hot steaming shit boiling over for the Villains. Rob is getting more and more frustrated with every hour. And to add to his misery, his health seems to be deteriorating too. So what better way to clear your mind than a little alone time in the jungle? And like a wounded animal going off to die, Rob heads into the bush by himself.

And Rob is down!

Wow shocker - if it wasn’t for the constant television ads over the past week, we never would have seen this coming. Thank goodness Jerri was lingering just behind Rob and she’s here to help. Mind you, she seems strangely lacking of any sort of urgency or concern for having just found her teammate unconscious in the woods. Even when Rob manages to mutter “Go get help,” Jerry turns and walks (WALKS!) back to camp. Seriously? No running? No frantic, heat racing moments? Does this viper have a heart?

Oh thank gawd, here comes Jeff to the resuce! Oh yeah, and some medical help as well. Dr. Dingo and Nurse Kiwi don’t seem too concerned about Rob, and after some back rubbing from Jeff and some free water, Rob is back on his feet. Wait a minute, what’s with the fucking water? Isn’t this Survivor? Ten years ago in season 1, the Survivors were so dehydrated they seriously considered drinking their own pee. Poor Colleen’s legs were covered with so many festering wounds she could barely walk, anthere wasn't a doctor in sight! But now, lie down and fake a tummy ache and we’ll throw you a bottle of Evian. I say suck it up, or ship it out!

Making a miraculous recovery, Rob now has time to reflect on his not-so-near-death experience. Apparently he saw the light during his jungle cat nap – no, not his life flashing before his eyes, but what he has to do to win. Rob is convinced he’s being too nice, and if he’s going to win, then he has to be an asshole. This could be an interesting strategy...

The whining is put on pause for a little while as the Survivors head to the next immunity/reward challenge. It’s another classic challenge - move some boxes, solve the puzzles, stack the boxes, climb to victory. Two Villains have to sit out, and it’s going to be Courtney and Randy. Must be a real confidence boost to know a failing Boston Rob is still better than a full strength you. And for the Heroes, nine-toed Rupert is going to sit.

The Heroes take an early lead again with the physical part of the challenge, making it look like they’ll cruise to victory. Oh, except for the fact that these idiots couldn’t solve an children's easy Sudoku puzzle to save their lives. Tonight the Heroes look just about as coordinated as every friend that’s ever helped me move a couch. I think I actually heard Stephenie yelling “Turn it topwise! TOPWISE!” Meanwhile the Villains again show brains can be more powerful than brawn, by nailing the puzzle. And for the second time in a row the Villains get the Immunity Idol.

With a second loss in a row, James is cranky and he’s letting everyone know. Because that’s what winners do when they lose - they point the finger. Stephenie makes the mistake of being the first to speak up, and James points his bony reaper-finger directly at her.

Winning makes everything better, and the spirits are certainly up at the Villain Beach. Of course the tarp, nails and rope will help, especially for a tribe who couldn’t build an outhouse worth shitting in. And just when things couldn’t get any better, now the Villains are this week's beneficiaries of the Mark Burnett Charity Chicken Release program. Seriously, what’s next? A ship-wrecked fishing trawler? A pod of tasty beached whales? Perhaps a friendly dolphin will lead them to a Long John Silvers just around the point?

James clearly forgot to bring his happy pills to Survivor island, as his vitriol continues back at Hero Beach. He is pissed, and he’s letting everyone know it. But rather than inspiring the tribe to consider how they can add to the team by subtraction, it seems all he’s done is motivate everyone to enter full-on cover-your ass mode. And instead of “How can we get better?” the question has become “Who can I put the target on, to save my own ass?” Tom leads the strategizing with a plan to bring Candice and Cirie into an alliance, by convincing them that they’ll be the next to go. That could save Stephenie, and send Amanda packing. Cirie and Candice have some thinking to do, realizing that they’re the swing votes and that how they vote will affect the long term outcome of this game. Exposing the limits to their strategic thinking, Cirie points out to Candice “Someone has to go next, and as long as it ain’t us, we’re good!” With that strategic thinking, you’re bound to get far in this game...

As we’re left to wonder whether it will be Amanda or Stephenie going home tonight, the Heroes roll into Ewok Village for their 2nd straight tribal council. James decides to take advantage of the Jeff Probst’s Oprah-esque Chatty Hour, and he’s coming out swinging! In case anyone hadn’t heard yet, he believes Stephenie is a curse, who thinks it’s all about her. But it’s not all about her it’s about the team. Except when the team is sucking, and then it’s definitely all about her. Makes sense to me. But Colby, won’t sit idly by, and neither will Tom, as they both stand up to James the bully, and all of a sudden we’re in the middle of an interesting if not dysfunctional tribal council on our hands. The excitement has already moved beyond the pending vote, as clearly we’ve got a tribal civil war on our hands! And with a 6-3 vote, Stephenie is gone and a super Hero battle is brewing.

Pool Update Week 2

While a pretty tame week on the Questions end of things after last weeks 2 hour lovefest, there was a few questions addressed:

1) The Villains won added survivor gear first... and by the look of their camp they needed it
2) The Villains, while still not a right answer yet, are on the verge of winning 3 challenges in a row
3) One person also had Boston Rob to be "Injured beyond Bumps and Bruises" the Passout IMO Counts, so I marked that down as well.

As for the Team side of the pool, 16 people lost Stephanie, a few even as their leader. Uh Oh, while my strategy post below still holds true for the Alliance players, you can't not have a leader - so expect some different looking tribes next week. Please ensure I get your swap if you have them to grcory@hotmail.com

The Week 2 File - If you notice an issue please let me know

http://corvision.ca/docs/S20HvVPoolw2.xls

If a BostonRob falls in the woods...

..and no one is around to hear him fall, does it really mean he's injured?

That's the only scene we've gotten a taste of for tonight's episode of Survivor - poor BostonRob. Just when he was winning the respect of bushmen everywhere by making fire from just 2 pieces of wood... he goes and faints or something. And with only Jerri-cat there to help... well, then he's surely fucked.

My call on this, is that it's probably just classic Survivor exaggeration (sorry, "editing"). Kind of like the previews to the big injury on Survivor Australia led viewers to believe that one of those angry 'crocs' had finally gotten a contestant. (Not that falling into a fire hands-first isn't serious and probably one of the grosser reality injuries we have seen. But hardly a croc-attack!)


I say it's a dehydration pass-out, and will not result in BostonRob being taken out of the game. That's my final answer...

Sweetner is not a suitable replacement for Sugar

However, the other 19 survivors are. If you're interested in using one of your swaps this week please ensure I find out who by Thursday's show.

Episode 1 Recap: Slaying & Stratimagizing

(This recap may have been posted by Rob, but it was written by both Sara and Rob. You'll just have to take my word for it. And we know it's late, but it was a double-episode and a busy weekend, so piss off.)

Guess who’s back – back again? Recap’s back. Tell a friend! We know you’ve been waiting – s’ok, you don’t have to say it. And for those of you new to the recap – welcome to your hilarious, clever, witty, and sometimes (ok, always) snarky report of each episode. Sure, “recap” would imply a concise summary of the high-points and important developments. And ok, maybe you could re-watch the entire episode in the time it will take to read this post. But consider this “Survivor Plus: Now with 40% more snark! “So you’ve been warned – it’s going to be a long ride. Grab your morning coffee, and go to the bathroom before we leave. Now, let’s git ‘er dun…


Welcome to… Survivor! And of course we start out with Jeff Probst doing his best to act like Chuck Norris while hanging out the side of a helicopter. No boats this time, we’re storming this island in helicopters, muthafuckahs! Because this is a serious game. Serious. And to illustrate the point, we get 3 full minutes of fantastic Survivor porn. And by porn I mean crazy cinematography. Ocean! Wild animals! Crazy jungle island landscapes! Scary natives! Oh – and one liner interviews – love these. Such gems of wisdom…

Rupert: “…good will win” – good strategy there Hobo Joe. Is it me, or does this guy always sound like he’s been sitting on a park bench drinking Listerine?

Russell: “…villains will always win – cuz they don’t mind stabbing someone in the back – it’s a fact – Google it.” And if we Google evil bastard, I bet we find a picture of Russell.

Coach: “This time I slay everyone and trust no one.” And I’ve already lost the first side-bet as Coach has managed to use the verb “slay” in the first 120 seconds of the series premiere.

Tom: “I’m not in the shape I was last time…” – oh good lord SilverFox, you are not. Look at the belly! Apparently the fire department has loosened their fitness standards.

BostonRob: “If people were smart, they’d get rid of me foist. But they won’t, they never do…” Um. I smell something. And since these guys haven’t started rolling in the mud yet, I can only assume that smell is foreshadowing…

Cerie: “I’m a gangster in an Oprah suit.” Cirie may have just won favourite quote of the night. But what’s an Oprah suit? Is that like one of those sumo-suits? I would pay to watch two people dressed up like Oprah bash the shit out of each other…

The helicopters land safely on the beach, and we continue with the mellow-dramatic build up to the season. Jeff asks the contestants how it feels to be here. Oh gawd, can we just get on with it? This part is so lame and ass-lickery that I can barely stand to watch it. To summarize, they’re all happy to be here. So honoured. Can’t believe they got another shot at it. Feel stronger, smarter, wiser, humbler. Yadda yadda yadda. Let’s get to it, shall we?


Thankfully, we’re on to the first challenge – right here, right now. And it’s a football inspired full-contact co-ed beach-digging bag-finding doozey, sure to feature inappropriate bullying and gratuitous girl-on-girl action. And happily, the challenge doesn’t disappoint. Parvahottie dislocates Stephanie’s shoulder and the Villains take an early lead. JT and Amanda storm past Jerri-atric and grumpy ol’ Randy to tie it up. Coach treats Colby like a piece of carry-on luggage to but the Villains back on top (and I’m sure we won’t hear about that dominant performance again). Sandra pulls a move outta the Bayou Mud Wrestling League and de-bras Sugar, who isn’t phased at all and gleefully storms over the finish line without so much as covering a nipple with her arm – and we’re tied again. Finally, James makes a break for it while puny mortals bounce off him, barely slowing his charge to the finish line, and it’s victory for the Heroes. Hooray, the heroes save the cheerleader, and the world is saved!! Or at least they got some flint. But what a great opening challenge! A dislocated shoulder, frontal nudity, a broken toe, and decent helping of wounded pride!

The Villains arrive at their beach first, and oh, presents! They get flippers, a fork with a cork on it (WTF???), a net, a mask and some other shit in a traditional South Pacific Welcome Wagon basket. What the fuck, is this Christmas? Didn’t these assholes lose? Did Mark Burnett just take the survive out of survivor? And the gift-giving continues over at Hero Beach where Mark Burnett releases some “wild” chickens into the nearby brush. Seriously, wild chickens? Just wandering around this deserted island? What’s next, a wild bush with Shake-n-Bake packages instead of leaves? Sure, you can’t turn-down a gift-chicken on a desert island, but the timing isn’t perfect for the newly arrived tribe to be taking on pets. These guys don’t even have a shelter or water yet, and now they’re supposed to just whip together a friggin’ chicken coop?

With fears of starvation temporarily relieved, the tribes waste no time getting down to some strategizing. Aannnnddd…. Russell revisits his “dumb-girl alliance” strategy by immediately hitting up every female on the island with final-two promises. It’s like I’m déjà-vu’ing with this re-run of season 19 strategy. I bet in high school Russell was so afraid of not having a date to the prom that he started lining up dates in January! But wait, there’s a little fishy nibbling at the bait, as Danielle swears to god and hopes to die and sticks needle in her eye that she’s going to the final-two with Russell. Parvahottie’s more cautious, giving Russell the ol’ nod and smile. I sense conflict coming between these two…

Meanwhile, Coach’s is also revisiting the strategy that made him the best Survivor player Coach has ever seen: make sure everyone knows how awesome Coach is. After a thorough retelling of the “frog-march” he handed out to Colby earlier in the day (and what the fuck is a frog-march anyway?), Coach candidly admits just how surprised he is that the whole tribe was still talking about his challenge performance long after he had forgotten about it. Sure thing Coach. You fucking moron. Who would fall for this crap?

Well, it seems Jerri falls for this crap. Maybe it’s the contrived Asian-inspired tattoos, maybe it’s Coach’s flowing mane, or maybe Jerri just falls for douchebags, but apparently this kitten is smitten. And Coach just might be interested! Apparently cougars wearing Tilley-brand anti-sex bathing suits are just his thing. Or maybe Coach just loves people that love Coach. Could we have this season’s first, and Survivor’s most-disturbing lurrrrrve connection? We’ll have to wait and see, but I predict this is going to be more awkard than watching your Mom and Dad do a 69’er.

We’re finally on to day 2, and the strategizing continues with the Heroes. So much strategizing for the premiere, but then again, how else are they going to fill a 2-hour episode. Good thinking CBS. JT and James decide to pair up in a clearly brawns-over-brains alliance. And not 5 minutes later, JT strikes up a “winners” alliance with Tom. Friggin’ two-timer.

Apparently all this stratimagizing is just too much for a simple boy from Texas, and Colby is confused. Clearly, he doesn’t know anything about anyone – way to do your research bud. I can’t believe we’re not even half-way through the first episode, and I’m so tired of hearing Colby talk already. Please shut up. No, don’t leave - just sit there. Quietly. Fortunately, Candice takes pity on Colby’s dumb yet firm ass, and gives him the who’s-who run-down of the tribe. And wow, the Heroes are loaded with players that have played together before: Tom and Steph; Cirie, James & Amanda. I guess that’s bound to happen when Mark Burnett keeps casting the same freaking people. Seriously, if Stephenie does one more season of Survivor I think she get’s a free foot-long sub!

Back at the Villains camp, BostonRob has tired of the pleasant chit-chat, and is getting annoyed with all his lazy tribe mates. So, he’s going to single-handedly save the Villains by creating fire. Always the supportive teammate, Randy explains just how stupid an idea that is. Not even worth trying. No way it’s going to happen. And you’re just going to waste energy and give people a reason to vote you off. But as grumpy ol’ Randy continues his negative rant, there’s smoke in the background. BostonRob has created fire using only two bamboo logs! (And Mark Burnett’s hidden zippo). He’s so awesome – even Coach thinks so!

Finally, it’s tree-mail time, and the tribes are gearing up for the first immunity challenge. Before leaving camp, Coach leads the Villains in team-huddle, spitting out a bunch of boiler-plate motivational poster bullshit about needing to think like winners to win. I’m just surprised he didn’t bring up the Colby man-handling again…

The first immunity challenge looks vaguely familiar: build a boat, row you boat, get a torch, do a puzzle, build a ladder, climb to victory. Jeff notes that Candice and Parvati have both done this challenge before in the Cook Islands, and I get the sinking feeling that we’re going to see the same unimaginative challenges all season long, regurgitated as “Survivor classics.” Awesome. The heroes jump out to an early lead, while Coach with all his coachiness screams at the Villains “C’mon, we gotta get these pieces together!” Ya thanks, Coach. By the time the Heroes get back to the beach it looks like they’re going to run away with the challenge. But wait, there’s still a puzzle to put together. And the Heroes have entrusted the brain-force of Rupert, Sugar, Cirie and Amanda to solve the puzzle. Oh fuck. In dramatic fashion, the Villains use their fully functioning frontal lobes to solve the puzzle, assemble the ladder, and cross the finish line while the Heroes are left staring at their puzzle like a bunch of monkeys trying to figure out a computer. Predictably Sugar becomes the first tribe member to cry, and seems to give everyone an obvious reason to make her the first person voted off. Seems pretty straight forward to me, let’s just cut the bullshit and get this vote over with. No, there apparently more strategizing to be done first. Oh fuck me.

Back at Hero Beach, and Rupert is shocked SHOCKED! that the Heroes lost. I mean they’re HEROS for Christ’s sake. HEROES ALWAYS WIN! According to Rupert, no one in a million years would have guessed the Heroes would lose. So apparently there are 10 people in this pool with telepathic powers – go buy yourselves a lottery ticket for tonight! Rupert continues to explain how the other tribe might be better at just about every aspect of the game, but that’s fine because they’re still the Heroes and they going to win. And if you rewind his interview and play it on slow-motion, you can almost see the exact second where Rupert realizes: the Heroes are fucked.


Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, Sugar, and it looks like we’re heading towards an easy vote and a predictable tribal council. But then (after Mark Burnett surely shut the cameras off and gave these schmoes a lecture about what makes for exciting television) Tom has an epiphany! Maybe, just maybe they shouldn’t just go for the easy target. And wait, Amanda, Candice and Cirie might have other plans too! You mean these people weren’t being honest when they all said Sugar, Sugar, Sugar? Ohhhh, this is going to be so exciting…

With the fate of the Heroes up in the air, the tribe reports to Ewok Village for the first tribal council. Jeff leads off the question period, madly looking for some kind of drama like Geraldo Riveria looking for Capone’s loot. But the tribe just won’t take the bait, ducking and diving under Jeff’s questions to avoid pissing anyone off. Quelle excitement! Off to the vote, and Sugar figures out how the pen works just in time to cast the only vote not for her. It’s 9-1 landslide, and the cry-baby is going home. Normally showing your boobs would get you at least one extra week on the island from most guys, so Sugar must really have been annoying. I guess that last half-hour of forced vote-strategizing drama wasn’t really necessary then was it? I feel cheated. I’m never going to watch another…

Waaaaaa? BostonRob unconscious? Dude, I’m so there next week!

Survivor Pool Strategy Corner

Sugars Gone, Now What?

Anyone think if Colby just accepted Sugars advances she’d have gone far in this game like she did the last time riding Ace and Bob's coattails to the finals? Well he didn’t and now that Sugar’s gone, and you’ve lost a team member you’re panicking. Don’t, not yet anyway. You see you’re only allowed 2 new member additions for the rest of the game, and it’s only the first week. Perhaps you should sacrifice 1, maybe 2 potential net weekly points to watch the game develop, really use that free agent pick up on someone beneficial, someone after watching the show develop for a bit will be a force to be reckoned with. Or what do I know, just replace them right away and hope for the best. Because if you choose correctly now, you’re better off. But something to consider. Good luck.

Pool Update Week 1

WEEK 1 UPDATED POOL CAN BE DOWNLOADED HERE

A 2 hour get to know the contestants show really produces results in regards to our pool. Lots of added screen time for chit chat, game talk, and the overall filler we all bet on. So there are lots of answers after week 1, and still plenty to be solved. And a lot of the questions have multiple right answers, more right answers per week, so if your person didn’t get their good parts blurred out last night during the boob Infested WWE match, still plenty of time.

If you’re marked incorrectly in the pool just shoot me a comment or message, I’ll ensure to recheck everything when sorting it all out, and if you really hate one of my rulings, well for the most part I’d say eat it, but I’ll gladly re-investigate your request, especially on the multiple answer questions. As for the actual standings, you’ll have to gauge it yourself based on my updates, I won’t be actually adding up scores until the end or possibly periodically throughout the season. But for now, you’ll have to add up your section 1 and Green & Yellow Squares from Section 2 on your own.

To The Results:

Since I didn’t participate in this week’s recap, I’m sure the written equivalent of drooling over Parvati, Amanda & Candice (My Favs) was lacking. So quickly, yes it’s hotter when someone with their boob’s out makes a kick-ass body threatening tackle, and I would also like to thank the camera man responsible for covering Amanda during the competition. Kudos.

Results:

1	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will be shown arriving at their camp first?	V
2	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will be shown receiving the first “TreeMail”	V
3	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will win the very first challenge?	H
4	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will have FIRE first?	V
5	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will the first castaway be booted?	H
6	Which tribe (Heroes or Villians) will win the first “Reward” Challenge?	H
8	Which tribe will catch (not win or be awarded) an animal (fish / bird / pig etc) first?	H
12	Will the first person to be voted off be Male / Female	F
13	Will the first person to be voted off be unanimous (less their vote)? Y/N	Y
14	Will the first person to be voted off know it’s them who’s getting the boot? Y/N	N
35	Will Randy call Sugar a derogatory name while both still in game? Y/N	N

Multiple Answer Questions:

29. Member to get injured beyond bumps and bruises: Stephanie and Rupert so far

30. Member to get blurred out: Danielle, Parvati & Sugar. PS – Nice work Sugar.

38. Any Member to Cry: Sugar – well done a few correct answers for 1 week

42. Made fun of by Jeff – I had: Jerri, James, and JT & Coach so far

Thoughts on final answer questions above.

The who did what first questions are pretty straight forward.

Who would have fire first (edited this way or not) being the Villains was insane! Way to go Boston Rob. But after 10 years, someone had to finally do it.

The question which tribe will catch, not be awarded, food could be up for debate as I’m certain I saw Mark Burnett release those chickens, and then yell out “USE THE NET”... but none the less they still caught them, so this question goes to the Heroes and Tom. I guess we can add 4 chickens to his already impressive “I caught a SHARK” resume.

Will the first person be unanimous? Yes. Surprising actually, I would have picked no here for sure.

And will the person know they were getting voted out. I have a feeling she did know, but I don’t think at anytime it was made known, or she indicated as such, so for that I have to put a No.

I also have a NO answer to will Randy call Sugar a derogatory name while still in the game. This was a lock for yes, but Sugar just left too damn early. So this one is complete as well.

Disagree? Agree? Comment Below!

GC

WEEK 1 UPDATED POOL CAN BE DOWNLOADED HERE