Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains Episode 3: “That Girl is Like a Virus” The CBS Official title of episode 3. Yes She Is. I've got the fever. And the only cure, is more Parvati. But more on that later.
Stephenie has just been voted out. Heroes are down 2 tribe members. Alliance lines how now been clearly drawn. Turns out JT is not with Tom after all, but in keeping with his new found willingness to beg, borrow, and steal this season, he tries to make peace with him and it seems to have succeeded for now. James, who at this point of the show has settled down and reverted back into Bruce Banner form, utters his now famous catch phrase "I JYNSP XUNNO WYNN" which of course CBS close captions for us "I Just Want To Win!" - Hey James, stop chewing on marbles you giant freak.
Over at the Villains tribe we catch Parv and Russell snuggling up with each other in bed, giggling like 10 years olds at a sleepover, and not only annoying the rest of the tribe, but raising huge ass red alliance flares. Boston Rob, who has been awesome this year with his Penn & Teller routine of explaining; How to Play Survivor 101, details to the home audience how you can tell who's with who by how they sleep at night. And with Amber at home, Rob right now isn't snuggled up to anyone and he's concerned. He should be more concerned about Russell hiding his Red Sox hat next to the Machete he's buried in the forest. Oh Russell, you crazy cat.Back to the Heroes tribe, it's a bright, beautiful new day outside, which is not what Rupert was hoping for. Beardo was hoping it would piss rain so the tribe could make a pillow fort, and play truth or dare and spin the bottle, get to know each other a little better and bond as a tribe. Something they've yet to do. If only there was another way... Wait a second the chickens have escaped JT's shitty ass chicken coup and it's up to the tribe to unify and as a cohesive unit and round up the chickens, bond as a tribe - can they do it? Can they change their fortune in this game by re-catching a pre-caught flightless bird? YES! THEY DID IT! Of course Tom catches em, shocker. Tom could catch the Mantracker in 6 minutes with a 5 minute head start. Rupert is happy they bonded after all, although likely pissed they didn't get to play spin the bottle, he'll have to wait longer for that elusive first kiss.
Over at the Villains tribe there is a lot of drama going on. Boston Rob and Russell are debating which one should be the official tribe "DADDY" and Coach, Jerri, Randy all see Parv as a huge threat, and while detailing exactly why she's a threat, and why's she's gonna be the death of their tribe, nobody seems willing to do anything about it. But this is all boring, let's get to the women in skimpy swimsuits mud wrestling!!!
*** Mud Wrestling Highlights from AOL Video Online CLICK ME! ***
Let's be honest. This Immunity challenge was strictly designed to let the Heroes win an Immunity challenge to even things up a bit. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you remove the "puzzle" element of the challenge, the Heroes will win. And that's exactly what happened with this challenge - an 8-0 trouncing of Hero on Villain violence and flat out pent-up aggression and redemption. And it was awesome!
Round 1 - Tom vs Russell - The epitome of Good vs Evil, but Russell tanked, and Tom simply dominated. 1-0 Heroes
Round 2 - Candice vs Parv - Perhaps the best battle of the competition, and not for the reasons you're thinking, although those reasons were pretty damn good too. Candice finally gets Parv into the mud, and wins 2-0 Heroes. Anyone else's version of this battle have them kissing at the end?
Round 3 - Coach vs Rupert - This was actually very entertaining. Coach wins by cheating, then celebrates all the way through Jeff's entire "Hey you cheated it doesn't count speech" so they replay the challenge, Rupert wins, Coach flips off Probst and we're watching the Heroes run away with this 3-0
Round 4 - Jerri vs Cerie - bwahahahahahhahahha it ends exactly how you think it would. As quick as you think it would. 4-0 Heroes
Round 5 - Tyson vs JT - a pretty damn good battle, but JT is victorious. And oddly, similar to the Candice / Parv battle, these dudes kiss at the end too. For real this time. WTF? Tyson's got some manlove for Joe Dirt I guess. 5-0 Heroes
Round 6 - Amanda vs Danielle - another shocking result... not so much. Amanda's a big bitch, and flat out ragdolls Danielle, but there's some good muddy wrestling action before the forgone conclusion. Niiiiiice. 6-0
Round 7 - Really? Round 7? It's 6-0. Throw in the towel. Is there no Mercy rule? There may have been a Mercy rule, but it's Colby vs Boston Rob, and we all want to see this battle. Bobby does a serious head plant, but puts up a great fight. One of the best battles, but it's not enough, 7-0
Round 8... Oh shit. It's the Incredible Hulk vs Randy. Okay New Rule. If Randy beats James, at this challenge, trailing 7-0, the Villains win the challenge. In Randy's defence he didn't scream and just jump into the mud, but he may as well have. 8-0 The Heroes win. Thank god they didn't have to complete a game of concentration before the buzzer goes at the end of this challenge.
On another channel, during this commercial break the Canadian Women have just won Hockey Gold 2-0! Way to go. Wouldn't it be funny if they cracked cans of beer and started smoking Cigars on the ice to celebrate....
The fallout back at the Villains camp and tribal breaks down like this:
Everyone knows Parv is the biggest threat, but the votes may not be there
Everyone knows Randy just sucks ass, and the less men they have, the more men the Heroes have to sit in challenges (wow nice strategy)
Jerri is totally jealous of Parv's control over the men at camp
Parv calls Jerri a bitter old cougar (HA! Burn)
Coach gives an epic version of the Martin Luther King "I had a Dream Speech"... classic Coach
Tribal Council is boring other than a reminder to the home audience that if you find yourself on Survivor, keep your mouth shut while at Tribal Council.
... And now to read the votes... It's unanimous for Randy, throw your buff in the fire, storm off and never return. Parvati doesn't even receive one vote. I'm stunned. The Snake Women lives. The virus is spreading...
Round 1 - Tom vs Russell - The epitome of Good vs Evil, but Russell tanked, and Tom simply dominated. 1-0 Heroes
Round 2 - Candice vs Parv - Perhaps the best battle of the competition, and not for the reasons you're thinking, although those reasons were pretty damn good too. Candice finally gets Parv into the mud, and wins 2-0 Heroes. Anyone else's version of this battle have them kissing at the end?
Round 3 - Coach vs Rupert - This was actually very entertaining. Coach wins by cheating, then celebrates all the way through Jeff's entire "Hey you cheated it doesn't count speech" so they replay the challenge, Rupert wins, Coach flips off Probst and we're watching the Heroes run away with this 3-0
Round 4 - Jerri vs Cerie - bwahahahahahhahahha it ends exactly how you think it would. As quick as you think it would. 4-0 Heroes
Round 5 - Tyson vs JT - a pretty damn good battle, but JT is victorious. And oddly, similar to the Candice / Parv battle, these dudes kiss at the end too. For real this time. WTF? Tyson's got some manlove for Joe Dirt I guess. 5-0 Heroes
Round 6 - Amanda vs Danielle - another shocking result... not so much. Amanda's a big bitch, and flat out ragdolls Danielle, but there's some good muddy wrestling action before the forgone conclusion. Niiiiiice. 6-0
Round 7 - Really? Round 7? It's 6-0. Throw in the towel. Is there no Mercy rule? There may have been a Mercy rule, but it's Colby vs Boston Rob, and we all want to see this battle. Bobby does a serious head plant, but puts up a great fight. One of the best battles, but it's not enough, 7-0
Round 8... Oh shit. It's the Incredible Hulk vs Randy. Okay New Rule. If Randy beats James, at this challenge, trailing 7-0, the Villains win the challenge. In Randy's defence he didn't scream and just jump into the mud, but he may as well have. 8-0 The Heroes win. Thank god they didn't have to complete a game of concentration before the buzzer goes at the end of this challenge.
On another channel, during this commercial break the Canadian Women have just won Hockey Gold 2-0! Way to go. Wouldn't it be funny if they cracked cans of beer and started smoking Cigars on the ice to celebrate....
The fallout back at the Villains camp and tribal breaks down like this:
Everyone knows Parv is the biggest threat, but the votes may not be there
Everyone knows Randy just sucks ass, and the less men they have, the more men the Heroes have to sit in challenges (wow nice strategy)
Jerri is totally jealous of Parv's control over the men at camp
Parv calls Jerri a bitter old cougar (HA! Burn)
Coach gives an epic version of the Martin Luther King "I had a Dream Speech"... classic Coach
Tribal Council is boring other than a reminder to the home audience that if you find yourself on Survivor, keep your mouth shut while at Tribal Council.
... And now to read the votes... It's unanimous for Randy, throw your buff in the fire, storm off and never return. Parvati doesn't even receive one vote. I'm stunned. The Snake Women lives. The virus is spreading...
No comments:
Post a Comment